Disappointment

Wow, this sucks more than I should let it.
But it always happens like this doesn't it? I need to stop wanting so badly because every time I do it just falls through. I am happy for PeaceJam, grateful for Jen, and proud of myself, but still. I wanted that job so bad. Making the final short list is great but not good enough. I mean, I was counting on that job to make my life better, to be able to start moving in the direction I want to go. Perhaps that's the problem, banking on something that uncertain?

Without this job I'm not sure I know how to move up and on. I'm sick of where I'm at; a college student with a part time job I don't really like and classes I could care less about. Thank God I, at least, have Jesse.